TACKLING BIPHOBIA: WHY BISEXUAL VISIBILITY MATTERS
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2018.
I am very open about my sexuality and the fact that I'm bisexual+. I've found that being true to myself and being authentic in my intersecting identities not only helps with my mental health but it brings the people in your life who are meant to be in it. Unfortunately, I can't tell you how long I've held onto internalized biphobia. I think some part of me always knew that I was queer; but, because of our heteronormative culture, I denied being my authentic self. I didn't know how to navigate what I was feeling, and I openly talked to a therapist about them because I was so conflicted.
I embraced my identity in college and then began drowning in the idea that I can't be genuinely queer in a straight relationship, and I still struggle with this. For a long time, I thought self-acceptance of my bisexuality was enough. As a result, no one asked me for a label, and I experienced very little overt discrimination. But, as I've become more grounded in my sexuality, I've realized that self-acceptance isn't enough.
I came out very soon after I figured out I was bisexual. Coming out is a process, but being authentic in your identity really helps.
Thanks to the increasing profile of bisexual celebrities, such as Keiynan Lonsdale and Stephanie Beatriz, bisexuality has become more visible in the mainstream media. As a result, a growing number of people feel comfortable coming out as LGBTQ+ (or simply neither straight nor gay). But acceptance of bisexuality has been slow, both in mainstream society and the LGBTQ+ communities, despite evidence suggesting that more individuals identify as bisexual than lesbian or gay.
Bisexuality can be defined as simply as being attracted to more than one gender. However, society is most comfortable with binary categorizations regarding sexuality and gender, and it is often rigidly policed. This creates misconceptions about bisexual authenticity, threatening our visibility and excluding us from the LGBTQ+ community and western society. The most common harmful stereotypes are indecision, confusion, and immorality, but the list is long and often supported by the media.
Invalidation and disapproval complicate the coming out process for individuals who identify as bisexual. Because of this, individuals who identify as bisexual may choose to remain in the closet or be mislabelled.
This leads to some serious mental health outcomes; the LGBTQ+ population is four times more likely to experience mental health issues than the rest of the people, it's even higher for individuals who identify as bisexual. Over 40% of individuals that identify as bisexual have considered suicide. There are several myths associated with bisexuality, and significant misconceptions go hand-in-hand with stigma and invisibility. In Western society, bisexuality and pansexuality are blanket terms for people not being attracted exclusively to one gender. Many people think bisexuality is simply when you are attracted to men and women. This reveals a very cis-sexist approach to breaking down bisexuality and doesn't consider the gender spectrum. Within bisexuality, there is no inherent binarism; bisexuality doesn't refer just refer to the two genders we are familiar with: men and women. This could mean you are attracted to men and women, though it could also mean you are attracted to folks identifying as non-binary, genderqueer, and trans. By saying bisexuality is an attraction to cishet men and women, you are making bisexuality trans exclusive. For someone identifying as bisexual and queer, I am not exclusively attracted to cishet men and women. I'm still navigating and becoming more grounded in my sexuality. I openly say I'm bisexual, but I realize I identify more as pansexual; I often use queer when talking about my sexuality.
I think much of this has to do with my internalized biphobia because of western societies' heteronormativity. However, I've found that people understand bisexuality more, and it is accepted more. I know I'm writing about biphobia, so does it take more than the other LGBTQ+ identities? I don't think it is.
Individuals who identify as bisexual have to constantly validate their sexuality to people who don't identify as bisexual. Individuals who identify as bisexual who are in straight relationships are still bisexual. Just because we haven't kissed a man or a woman doesn't mean we aren't bisexual. Bisexuality's constant invalidation stems down to the stigmas and myths that are associated with it. Some examples of bisexuality's stigmas and myths are:
You can't know you're bi until you've dated both men and women.
It's just a 'phase.'
Bisexuality doesn't exist at all.
Assuming that bisexuals are confused or indecisive about their sexuality.
Not wanting to date someone bisexual because you assume that the person will eventually leave you for someone of another gender.
Assuming that people who identify as bisexual are "really" lesbian or gay but are in denial.
Individuals who identify as bisexual+ are more likely to validate their sexuality when there is not enough social support after coming out to family and friends or staying closeted for an extended period. While Western culture needs to tackle biphobia. The LGBTQ+ community also needs to look at how we approach the word "bisexual" and actively educate those in their communities on bisexuality, hoping that western society will recognize bisexuality as something other than a plot device to fill diversity quotas.
