WAIT, YOU HAVE TO MAKE FRIENDS AFTER COLLEGE?
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2018
Everything changes after college. I don't think people know how much it changes; I know I didn't.
Friends move to different cities, and when the 'adulting' starts, it is hard to maintain that closeness because you and your friends might be in two other places (physically and metaphorically). However, my college friends are still very much a constant in my life. The distance has made my friendships stronger because we have to be more intentional about wanting to be in each other's life.
I am finding that making friends after college is a lot harder than I realized. I have been more aware of how I am at the beginning of a friendship over the years. When you're making these connections, building these relationships, you can't come on too strong. I was the girl who wanted EVERYONE to like me and EVERYONE to be friends with me. I was the girl who double-texted after five minutes of not getting a response. Yes, that was me.
If you know me today, you know I don't give a fuck who likes me. I know that everyone will not like me, and I'm not going to please everyone.
Here are my 5 Tips to creating lasting friendships post-grad:
1. Don't Rush Things
Making connections and building friendships is hard post-grad. But, making friends takes time. You can't rush or even force someone to be friends with you. Instead, trust the process; the people who are meant to be in your life will come at the right time.
2. Be Yourself
There is one thing that I have learned as I have become more rooted in my intersecting identities: Stay true to yourself. If you are true to yourself and are authentic in everything you do, everything else will follow. Likewise, the individuals you are trying to become friends with will notice if you are putting on a facade.
3. Reconnect with your roots
Did you lose touch with one of your best friends halfway through college? This is the time to reconnect, take a chance, and reach out!
4. Be Intentional
Keep in touch with the individuals you are making connections with. It doesn't have to be every day. When you are having a conversation with them, be vulnerable. Take it day by day, make the most of the time you have with them.
5. Don't Overthink it
Have you been sitting on that text for hours trying to decide if it Is the right thing to say? SEND IT! The person you're sending it to won't think twice about that emoji or how formal your texting is.
